NEW website you say?

h t t p : / / w w w . d i r r t y . o r g / j u s t - d r e a m

HOSTED!

THANKS TO JEN, I’M OUT OF HERE. COME AND COMMENT ASAP!

http://www.dirrty.org/just-dream

FELICIA: well your lover was looking for you

SARAH: YOUR SHITTING ME

FELICIA: he was like hey felisha wheres sharah

SARAH: YOUR KIDDING

SARAH: YOU ARE NOT TELLING THE TRUTH

FELICIA: "arent u two like joined at the hip?"

SARAH : go on

FELICIA: and i was like of course but shes out today

FELICIA: and he gave me one of his complexed faces

FELICIA: and thats all

FELICIA: it was a moment though

FELICIA: you wouldve laughed

SARAH: when ..what time of day?

FELICIA: during lunch he popped in

SARAH: of all the days im out

FELICIA: and was i guess wondering why u werent there with me in 401

FELICIA: ooooo and he was wearing the purpple shirt

FELICIA: it looked yummy if i might say so myself

SON OF A HAIRY MIDDLE AGED WOMAN WHORE! BEING STALKED I TELL YOU.

hello ya'll long time no talk ..

i'm home today. essentially, i fried myself this week ..so today i decided to stay home and rest. all these after school classes are killing me. i just added vocal jazz to my schedule, the problem is i thought it would be on thursdays, but it turns out that monday is a better day for everyone. i'm so mad! it's enough that my math classes are tuesdays and wednesdays. j's classes are mondays and wednesdays. so, that means i'll be seeing him ALL the time now. not cool my friend.

speaking of him, we saw each other a few times this week. as i was leaving a voicemail on lisa's phone he decided to interrupt me. after, he stood there, and to make the awkwardness less awkward i said something like "hi ---, how are you. " he replied, "i never see you anymore! *stares at me with puppy eyes waiting for me to say something*" i suppose he implied by that he wanted to see me, i'm not sure. so i replied, "yeah my schedule is really bad, i don't see anyone anymore. i'm taking all these PM classes." he looked at mein his own world, half-smiled, and walked off.

the next day i saw him after voice and he was talking to someone. we locked eyes for a split second and i walked away. this kept happening all week – before and/or after voice. i have a feeling (i know it might me crazy) that he's purposely making himself walk by now that he knows i have voice there. i know that is NUTS, but last friday he noticed me in there and looked ..and ever since ..i don't know. really, i don't. now i'm feeling all these emotions i haven't paid attention to in almost two months, and i'm SO bothered by it.

i suppose i knew i was denying how i felt all this time. i’m not “in love” with him. i just REALLY miss him being there for me to talk to without feeling funny about walking up to him. we were so close and the moment we were split apart everything flipped around. the other day he said to me what i mentioned to him a few weeks back. he took my words (probably didn’t even remember the whole handshaking/handholding incident) and used them as his own. i just don’t comprehend how he can be so standoffish and keen to me at the same time!

there were these moments when i was disgusted at my actions and in my own reality felt as if maybe i was moving on. i was actually happy a few times, and for the first time in a long time it wasn’t because of him.  the truth is i’m not at all. i’m not happy, i’m not sad, i’m not over him, i’m just not anything and most of the time i’m content with being a rock. i’ve gotten so used to this “feeling” that its perfectly normal and most of the time its comforting to know that i’m not obliged to be aware of anything. is there something defective with me?

xoxo, sarah your fanatical ‘manhattanized’ pal

i love jen!! i'll be moving to her site probably by sometime early next week. YES! hosted-ness!

so sorry i didn't post this past week. i've been getting home late and going to bed extremely early so i don't really get much me time at all. this week was work, work, and more work! AH it's times like these when i thank everyone at LaG for being who they are because if they weren't id've been out of there by now.

so lets see ...it seems to be if i study the alto 2 section on the schubert piece girls chorus is doing, i can do a sectional practice (me playing piano and going over the song with my section - alto 2). i'm kind of excited that ms. bishop asked me to do that because that means she thinks i know what i'm doing and she trusts me enough to give me that kind of position. so i think all weekend i'll be going over it on the piano backwards and forwards. my only problem is i can play two voicings at once, but then my rhythm gets sloppy. i think this would be a good opportunity though because it'll give me more of a push into senior chorus for next year. ahh. lol pressure. i highly doubt that my section will even listen to me, but i don't know ..hmm ...

what else ..i went back on IMX today with my jenbo. AHH i love her and i love that show to pieces. i was a bit upset though today with the 'sahara hotnights.' ever since i heard of them i've been crazy about them but after today i'm somewhat shocked. they were very rude and clearly stated that they were anti-american/british, so that hurt. they had no passion. they literally sat there searching for things to say and everyone around them was shocked at their behavior. so yep, there goes one of sarah's FAVORITE bands down the crapper. i still love IMX and i plan on going again sometime soon. one of the producer people (i think it was a producer person) even said that she "wants to see more of me soon." yay! i'm soo excited about that. nothing ever happens to me like that. and maybe this will be the push i need to start trying to get myself into the whole tv-ish thing.

alright i've bored you death. goodnight and i'll ttyl (  ;